Desire from life

Life is not the way people expects .Life has it own journey . Everybody wants something from their life ,their desires are always high .It's a human desire that drives people to work hard .Sometimes I think that how life happens .Life is a very strange and unusual journey .It is said that you can make your journey by yourself but It's not like that .I really don't understand what life is and how it's happens .We wake up everyday and does our work and go back to sleep ,It's simple ,Day ends but It's not like that .You do the same work everyday but if you look back to the same routine that might feel like daily routine but It changes . It's very strange .Well, I am not different to the people who dreams high .                                                  While writing ,I am going through some feeling of despair and optimism as well .I belong to a middle class family .My father is a private tutor whose earning is enough for some very basic needs like food ,cloth and basic study etc .My mother is a homemaker but now she has started doing some charity work with association of Ram Krishna Mission trust .Since year 2020,We as family facing the wrath of lockdown .As All private school are shut and there is no hope for it to reopen .Our family livelihood depends on this but nothing is happening .I really don't know ,what life wants out of it ? I being a elder daughter of the house have all the responsibility of the house .We are family of four which comprises my younger sister ,father and mother .I am graduated in English literature and want to make my carrier in writing .I love writing .I want to express myself through writing .I know that I have to enhance my skills in it and all things wants money .I have to do regular course but I can't do because of the financial disturbance .I found blogging as ray of hope but It takes time .I have filled so many form as well for government job but corona pushed the exam .This time period is really difficult to go through . I don't know how but I got to know about PM Yuva Writer mentorship program through my gov app .I thought of it as big opportunity .I did my submission but I don't know why I get dichotomy of emotion regarding it .My desires from Life is very big .I think that life is given once ,so why not explore that area which you love to do .I found myself very comfortable while writing .I want to follow the legacy of my one of grand father .In my family ,They all will be very happy if I get a simple job that support family but I know ,I don't want that compromise from life .I know ,the ways are challenging and difficult ,will take time but I will pave my way in the field of writing .My gut feeling says that I have bright future ahead and I might be one of 75 but on the other side ,I get the reality check that there are so many talented people out there ,so stop fantasizing about it .On the other hand ,I see lot of people from very remote places dared to dream big and achieved so,Why can't I ? Whenever I talk about my big dreams to the people around me ,they all laugh and say -Its just a fancy a d nothing much .Life is not meant to be extra ordinary for ordinary people like us. That's breaks my hope Sometimes but I try to manage my hope .I won't lie that sometimes I get so frustrated with full of questions of doubt about my choice of dreaming big .I can't speak to people around me because they all are very simple people thinking of spending life in ordinary walks .So ,I know that My conversation won't work with them .So,I am writing this to express myself otherwise I feel heavy about it .Why can't I dream big and achieve it ? It's just that I don't have enough money simply means that I stop dreaming amd life will never happen the way I want .I am not ready to life ordinary life because I consider life a extraordinary gift of god .I want to explore the world ,want to make conversation about my dream and my nation .I want to meet to so many Intellectuals mind across the globe .I have my dream list or bucket list which I want to tick .I want to make my mother -father proud on big level .There are so many desires from Life .          Dear Life,You have been great to me but from the past 2 years ,It's been little difficult .I am looking for an one solid opportunity .you know ,I will do everything to make my dream alive .You have to bless me and guide my path .I love you life for being so wonderful .

Desire never end and I don't want it to end ever because these are the driving force of life .I have lots of desire that fuels me whenever I feel low .I remind myself about the wonderful aspect life and it's desires.